Help with damaged hair?

My hair is damaged and this is the only way I can describe it. When my hair is down the top layer gets curly and sticks out about an inch and my hair is broken all over so I get ends sticking out everywhere. I have hairs 1 inch long sticking out by my part and then every length in between until the longest piece of hair on my head. I have combination hair. It's either really dry and frizzy or it's oily. Sometimes it's a little of both. I have to shower every day because when I wake up my hair is crazy all over and extremely oily and looks gross. I tried powder and it doesn't work with me. I change my pillow case ever couple nights. I think the breakage is from wearing my hair in a pony for years because of work and to hide my frizzy hair (which just made it worse in the end). I don't wear my hair up anymore and if I have to I use one of those things with claws. I don't brush my hair until it's damp then I just use a wide comb and change to a smaller comb. Through out the day I get that 1 inch frizz deal going on so I constantly have to brush my hair to make it go down. I've tried tons of frizz products (creams and serum) and special shampoos and conditioners. I also don't use any heat products. Is there anything else I can do to help my hair? I know I can't repair it and I just have to take care of it while it grows out.