What do you think of this short piece, please?

you repeat too often. Your sentences variety isn't great; break it up more with different length sentences. You often use unnecessary words; remember - each and every word should have a purpose. The speech is unrealistic; "Tell me where she is!" "I'll die before telling you" hmm, cliche anyone? He knows she not going to tell him, she knows she's not going to tell him - why does he bother asking? And wouldn't he command "Where is she?". Her repsonse is unrealistic; if she's struggling to stand, wouldn't she just say "No." or "...Never tell you." Even if you want her to be defiant, she seems weak after saying she'd rather die then begging him to stop with the memory thing. Also, sad pasts maybe, but to that extreme? Try to lighten it up; it'll make it less cliched.